The Unexpected Lessons of Living Abroad Finding yourself, creating a sense of belonging, and learning to feel at home in a new place.
Living abroad can change your life in ways you never expected. You leave behind familiar routines, discover new cultures, meet people who see the world differently, and begin to question things you once took for granted. But beyond the beautiful landscapes and the excitement of starting somewhere new, there is another journey: the one that happens within you.
After years of living in Hawaiʻi, I've come to realize that living abroad isn't just about discovering a new place. It's also about discovering who you are when everything familiar changes.
Here are three lessons I've learned along the way.
1. A new place doesn't mean you have to become a new person
Moving abroad can feel like a fresh start, but we bring ourselves wherever we go. Our fears, habits, and patterns often follow us. A new environment can open doors and offer a different perspective, but it is also an invitation to understand ourselves more deeply. Sometimes, the most meaningful part of moving abroad isn't changing your surroundings. It's discovering what you want to change within yourself.
2. Finding a sense of belonging takes time
You can love where you live and still miss home. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. You can build a beautiful life somewhere and still wonder where you belong. That’s been my journey after 2 decades. I've learned that feeling at home isn't always about geography. It's also about the relationships we nurture, the rituals we create, and the things that make us feel connected to ourselves. Sometimes, home is a place. Sometimes, it's a feeling we slowly learn to cultivate.
3. You're allowed to change as you grow
Living abroad often challenges the person you thought you were. You discover new interests, question old beliefs, and imagine different ways of living, and eventually, you may realize that what once felt right no longer does. I've come to believe that we don't need to have everything figured out. We can change direction, explore something new, and allow ourselves to become beginners again. This applies to where we live, how we work, our relationships, and the ways we express ourselves creatively. Life is not a fixed destination. It's an ongoing process of discovering what feels meaningful to us. Creating a life that feels like your own. Whether you're living abroad, considering a move, or simply navigating a new chapter, perhaps the question isn't only Where do I want to live?
Perhaps it's also: How do I want to live?
For many years, I felt disconnected from my surroundings, living with a different culture and language; it has been quite debilitating, but one thing I came to realize is that the place I always return to is home in Hawaii. I don’t think it ever changed for me. Lately I’ve been questioning myself a lot about my roots and where I belong in a world of technologies, television, political views that feel foreign to me, and this materialistic environment feels very unsustainable. Hawaii feels like a mother to me. I feel very grateful. Mahalo
Let me ask you now because I can elaborate and extend long on this topic and write a book someday. What makes you feel alive? What helps you feel grounded? What parts of yourself are asking for more space?
These are questions I continue to explore through creativity, movement, time in nature, and the simple practice of slowing down and listening to myself. I share these reflections because I believe we can learn so much from one another's journeys. We don't need to have all the answers to start asking better questions.
If you're also exploring what it means to live more intentionally, reconnect with your creativity, or find your own sense of belonging, I'd love to stay connected.
I write a personal newsletter about creativity, self-discovery, life transitions, and the little things that make life meaningful.
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With love,
Melanie
P.S. I also share recipes and little inspirations from everyday life over on OM Retreat.